Friday, July 13, 2012

Flashback Friday-- Destructo's Birth Story

So I am going to be posting Flashback Friday posts for a few weeks (or until I run out of flashbacks haha.)  I figure I will catch my readers up on important events in my life that happened before I started blogging.  That way you guys can get to know me a little better.  Let me know what you think about this idea.

It all started on a dark and stormy night.  Okay, it wasn't stormy and heck it wasn't actually dark if I include the part where we went out on our final date as a childless couple.  So it all started on a regular Friday after work evening?? I had worked a half day and officially told work that I would only work half days from then on out because I was so tired.  I went home and decided to clean even though I had only slept about four hours the night before because my house was a disaster.  I should have taken a nap if I had known I was going into labor.

Hubby and I went out for after dinner ice cream at Baskin Robbins.  I remember sitting there thinking it was probably one of our last child free dates. I had rainbow sherbert in a waffle cone.  You know because that is a super important detail.  We went home and decided to watch a movie and I remember my back was really bothering me.  It just seemed like I couldn't get comfy.  I want to bed about 10:30, but as soon as I laid down I realized I was having mild contractions every 10-15 minutes.  I had just about dozed off since I figured I needed to try to rest because at that point I had been awake since 5 AM.  All of a sudden the contractions got quite a bit stronger.  I told hubby and he came to bed so he could get some rest in case we had to go to the hospital that night.

About 30 minutes after he laid down, I woke him back up and asked him to go to the gas station and fill the car up since we didn't have enough gas to get to the hospital.  The contractions were every 5-10 minutes at this point lasting about 30 seconds and strong enough that laying down through them kind of sucked.  I laugh at him doing this now since we had approximately 2 3/4 more days to go at this point but don't they say hindsight is 20/20.

The next day was Kentucky Derby day which we had joked all along would put me into labor.  I had to miss it of course and that made me sad since I go every year, but I was glad for the distraction.  At this point, I was having contractions every 5-8 minutes and they were lasting around 30-45 seconds each.  They were fairly strong.  I had trouble talking through them and no matter how much I tried I couldn't sleep.  Poor hubby had to go to the doctor as he had a mystery rash all over both of his arms and his chest and was so unbearably itchy.  I was worried about him being around the baby since we didn't know if it was contagious or not.  Thankfully, it was just an awful case of poison ivy.  He went to the doc and was so nervous that I would need to go to the hospital while he was there.  That is laughable now since we still had 2 1/2 days to go.

My mom came over around this time and we all
watched Animal Kingdom win the Kentucky Derby.  I was glad for the distraction since I was exhausted and miserable.  That night all three of us were up most of the night.  My contractions were about 45 seconds long and anywhere from 2-8 minutes apart, but most were in the 2-4 minute apart range.  I was rolling on the birthing ball, doing deep breathing exercises, walking around, trying to get in different positions to help labor along.  I think I listened to Jason Aldean's "Backroad" song a billion times because for whatever reason it was soothing.
This was me on Saturday in between contractions.

We made it through the night and finally decided to go into the hospital because while I still wasn't at the contractions 2-3 minutes apart, lasting one minute each, and consistently for an hour time point that they advised me to come in, but I was getting worried about the baby because he wasn't as active as normal.  We went in Sunday morning and they checked me and I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  The midwife on call told me to go walk around for an hour and eat breakfast and to take some stairs to try to get labor going even stronger and they would probably admit me if I hit a 4.  We did just that and made one final stop to my workplace which was at the hospital I delivered at.  I took 12 flights of stairs in my desperation to get this labor going.

Went back to the hospital and was admitted because I had hit a four.  When we had been walking around, I remember telling Sam that we would have a baby by the end of the day.  Those contractions were bad by this point since we were walking.  I would have to stop and bend over to get through them.  I got some strange looks let me tell you.  The best point of the day was that I got the room with the whirlpool bath tub.  They recommended not using it until you were about 6 cm dilated though as it can stall labor.  Ha I should have slept in the damned tub.

My contractions were about 2-3  minutes apart lasting close to a minute.  I alternated swaying my hips on the birthing ball, rolling on the birthing ball on all fours, standing in the shower and doing squats, and whining incessantly about the dang back labor.  Back labor truly is the devil.  Mid way through the day I felt awful because with the exception of ginger ale, I couldn't bring myself to eat and hadn't eaten much since Friday evening.  I powered on and got checked again and was only 4 cm.  No progress.  I felt like crying.

I decided to try using the breast pump at this point as the midwife felt it might strengthen my contractions.  I did this for over half an hour and labored for another hour or two and still no progress.  The next options were to either break my water (which I was against at a four since I didn't want that 24 hour rule looming over my head) or for me to discharge and go home and take an Ambien.  They said that the medicine would knock me out and that my labor would either strengthen considerably or if this was just false labor would stop.  Sleep sounded like a plan to me and I felt like I would be more comfortable at home so we left the hospital which was a huge mistake since I lost the jacuzzi tub room and I never even got to use it.

The ride home was miserable.  I was having very strong contractions in my back all the way home and wasn't able to find a comfortable position safely.  We got home and this is when the funny story happened.  We got ready for bed and I took the Ambien and hubby went to take his anti itch meds and the pills looked alike.  He mistakenly took one of my Ambiens.  This was actually a blessing in disguise because he needed to sleep some so one of us could be somewhat coherent the next day.

I wasn't so worried because the meds were going to make me sleep.  But they didn't.  The contractions were too strong at this point and I tried to wake Sam, but he was in a drugged stupor.  So I called my mom who had been with us at the hospital the whole day and had gone to my sisters house 15 minutes away to sleep some.  She and my sister came right over, but at this point I had dozed off for a whopping 3 minutes and they couldn't get in the front door.  But not to worry, the next contraction hit and I was instantly awake.

This night was absolutely the worst night of my life.  I was in so much pain.  It felt like my hips were ripping apart, my back labor was so intense I felt like I was being beaten in the back with a sledge hammer.  I was so exhausted and worn out that I didn't think I could go on.  But I did.  I spent a lot of the night in the bath tub with pillows surrounding me.  It is amazing how much water pillows absorb.  The most sleep I would get was when I would basically pass out in between contractions, but this was only in 2-3 minute increments.  At one point, I was rolling on my birthing ball and actually dozed off and nearly fell.  I looked at my sister and said, "Well that wouldn't have been in my best interest."  I apparently said some other random funny things as well.

Next morning gets here and we decide to go into the doctor's office because I refused to go back to the hospital if they weren't going to deem me in active labor.  For those keeping track, this was Monday morning.  I had been in labor since 10:30 Friday night by this point.  They called me back right away because it was fairly evident that I was in active labor at this point.  They checked me and I was a 6.  Thank the Lord, progress.  They wanted to call an ambulance and rush me to the hospital because they thought my labor was going to progress rapidly and my water was going to break any second since the sac was bulging.  We declined (thank goodness since having a baby is expensive enough.)  Drove to the hospital and the walk up from the parking garage was horrible.  I was having contractions every 2 minutes or less and they were lasting about a minute and a half.  I couldn't walk during them and could barely stand.

They checked me again and I was a 7.  I was thrilled because at this point everyone assumed we would have a baby within hours.  This was laughable as well since this was late morning and Kai wasn't born until nearly midnight.  I paced, labored a lot in the shower, squatted, etc.  A few hours after we got there I again had had no progress, so I consented to having my water broken.  Oh and I guess I should add that through all of this Kai was never in danger.  His heart rate and what not was always strong and I was never in distress either.  Well life and death distress that is.

They broke my water and we discovered meconium in it.  We were told that when he was born if he wasn't screaming very strongly, he would have to go to the NICU for evaluation.  My contractions were so much stronger after they broke my water.  It was like they were suddenly on steroids.  The back labor was unreal.  I was exhausted by this point after having been mainly awake since Friday at 5 AM.  I hadn't been able to eat much at all either so I was weak as well.  I was laboring mainly in the bed which was awful at this point, but I didn't have the strength to stand anymore.  Apparently my eyes kept rolling back into my head in between contractions because my body was trying to sleep.

I labored a few more hours in the bed with my mom having to push on my hips for my entire contraction and my hubby having to push as hard as he could on my back.  It was awful.  I didn't even plan on having anyone other than my husband in the room while I was laboring, but obviously it didn't happen since I couldn't get through contractions without both of them and even the nurses by this point. (I was actually quite glad my mom was in the room to take pictures right after the birth.)  The giant slap in my face came around 7 that night.  They checked me again and I thought for sure I was in transition or at least close because I was having serious doubts about my ability to withstand anymore contractions.  I had not progressed at all since arriving at the hospital.

After talking with the doctors and midwife, it was decided that I should get pitocin.  I opted for an epidural at this point because I just couldn't go on anymore.  I balled like a baby when I signed the paperwork because in my mind it meant I had failed to do the one thing that I wanted to more than anything and that was to give birth without meds.  And after 70 hours that just wasn't fair.  The doctors were getting quite concerned because of the fact that my water had been broken quite some time, the meconium in the amniotic fluids, and the fact that Kai was posterior and his chin was catching on my pubic bone.  They basically explained that it was better to start the pitocin now than to have to undergo an emergency C-section because that was where they saw it heading.  That was my main reason for deciding to get the epi as well.  I didn't want to have to be knocked out for a C-section and have no memories of it. 

They started the pit and I got the epi and it was awful to sit still since my contractions were about every 1- 11/2 minutes and lasting well over a minute each.  Once it was in though it was quite the relief because even though I could still feel the contractions, the back pain was gone.  At this point though, I was a nervous wreck because I was fairly convinced that I was going to have to have a C-section.  I couldn't even sleep at this point.  What  cruel twist of fate, finally no pain and my mind won't shut off.  The baby's heart rate dropped way down as soon as I got the epi, but after some oxygen and flipping to my side it came back up.

He came out screaming, no NICU time needed.
Luckily, four hours later the pit had caused my labor to finally progress and I was ready to push.  This was at about 11:35ish.  Everyone figured I would be pushing for quite some time after my epic, marathon labor.  Yeah that was the one thing that I had some small bit of control over.  I pushed maybe 4-6 times and that baby was there 20 minutes after I started pushing.  Destructo was born on Monday at 11:52 PM keeping up the tradition in our family of all babies being born on Mondays.  ( I had two sisters and all three of us were born on a Monday.)  He weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and was 20.5 inches long.  He came out screaming his indignities at this mean old world.  He even flipped at the last minute so he didn't come out sunny side up.  I had second degree tearing, but overall it wasn't that bad.

Looking back, I do regret that I had to have meds only because now unless we have another baby, I will never know if I can truly deliver a child totally natural, med free.  In my case, it was almost like I did all the hard prep work and now don't even get that reward of being able to say I did it.  I can only hope things turn out differently if I have another baby.  But on the other hand, I consider myself lucky.  I know a lot of women with similar situations to mine who did end up having to have a C-section.  At least my birth plan wasn't totally stolen from me.  And honestly in the end, I had a healthy baby so what more can you ask for? 

Linked up at:
My Pregnancy Journal link up

Barely a cone head which was shocking seeing I had been in labor so long
I was telling him, "It's about time."
This is my very favorite picture right after the birth.  I can just see the exhaustion in my face.  I love this pic.


  1. He's so adorable!!!
    New follower via Blog Hop :)

  2. Oh I love this flashback, such a special memory! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

    Twirling Clare

    1. Thanks! I think I am going to post about either my wedding or honeymoon next. I probably should have went in some sort of order, but eh randomness if fun too! Have a great weekend!

  3. Memories are the best; you get to pick out your favorite parts and forget the rest. :)
    Thanks for stopping by rockbottom.

    1. That is oh so true. No matter how hard you try to remember, I can't actually remember what the contractions felt like. Oh I remember that they were very painful and I felt like my back was being beaten in, but you can't actually remember pain. I never thought about it like that before. Memories are awesome then.

  4. Aw. I really enjoyed reading this. I also like that last photo. You look so serene with that swaddled baby in your arms. Have a great week, Melissa.

    1. I can honestly say that is my very favorite pic of my entire labor, delivery, and hospital stay. I am so exhausted, but happy and I love that the hubby's hand is on my head. Have a great week too!

  5. Wow -- 70 hours before the meds? You're a hero! For my first, I was on meds within 4-5 hours (basically, after they broke my water), and for my second, I never got my meds, but that was because he came too fast (I wasn't even admitted to the hospital yet). Trust me, about 5 minutes before he was born, I was screaming "I need the epidural. I need the epidural!"

    That last picture is truly beautiful.

    1. Yay I get to be someone's hero. It was a long, long 70 hours. My mom had really quick labors and I was really hoping to be like her. That picture is my very favorite picture of them all. I was so exhausted.

  6. My goodness that was a long labour!

    I would absolutely love for you to link up at the Baby Shower a new linky party for all things pregnancy and new bay - Alice @ Mums Make Lists

    1. I love all the different themed link ups you have on your blog. I am going to be following you! Thanks for reading.

  7. You're my hero!! What an amazing birthing story...I don't know how I would have done under those circumstances. All four of my births were under 12 hours (still felt long, but obviously in comparison!).
    Just found your blog today on Modest Mom Link-Up :)

    1. Thanks so much! I am still not sure how I did it. I just hope that the next baby is a bit quicker. I will settle for 24-36 hours even haha.


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