Thursday, September 20, 2012

Crappy Parenting at it's Finest

I was inspired by a post over at Life with Levi.  She posted a picture about how we are all different as moms, but we should all respect each other's choices and know that as long as you love your child that is really all that matters.  Too often I see mommy wars started over personal choices all mommies are forced to make.  I have been guilty of having judgemental thoughts myself.  But I do try really hard to not do this.

Of course I think my choices are the best ones (at least when it comes to Destructo.)  Otherwise I probably would have chosen differently.  But just because they are best for me doesn't necessarily mean they are best for Jane Doe and Jane Jr.  We need to stop the mommy wars and do our best to support each other.  Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I don't need other people second guessing my decisions.  I second (and third and fourth) guess myself every single day.

Without further ado, I am a crappy mother.  My kids will undoubtedly need therapy.

I cloth diaper.  But I also use bleach free disposables when the mood strikes me.

I breastfed for the first year, but didn't stop there.  

I don't know when I plan to stop nursing Destructo.  I guess when he decides he is done or it is no longer working for me.

Destructo was circumcised.  This is what Mr. Destructo and I felt was best for him.  I cried when they took him, but would do it again if I had to.

He is vaccinated on time and according to my pedi's schedule.  I hate getting him his shots.

He has received a flu shot and will again this year.  

He is still rear facing and will be until who knows when.  

He will be in a five point harness until he hits the weight limit.

I don't really plan on spanking my children.

I don't cook dinner every night, but we eat every night.

Sometimes I use cookies as bribes.

I don't brush his teeth twice a day (or sometimes even once a day on the bad days.)

I teach him about God.  

Some days I yell, some days I cry.  Most days I apologize for both.

I kiss and hug him every day.

I do not plan on letting Destructo have soda anytime soon.

I try my best to limit his sugar intake.

We don't eat all organic (although I try my best to get organic stuff.)

My son has a paci.

My son also has a lovie that I have no intentions of ever taking away.  I still have my childhood blanket.

We don't always get dressed on days we are staying home.

I use medicine if needed.

I skipped purees and did baby led solids.

We try to let Kai stay on a baby led schedule.

Pizza is one of Destructo's favorite foods.

I have breastfed in public.

I get cranky when he wakes up before 7 AM when it is one of my days off work.  I am selfish when it comes to my sleep needs.

I don't disinfect toys and paci's don't get sterilized as much as they probably should.

I use natural cleaners when I can, but still use store bought at times.  (With this said, as I run out I am switching to all homemade ones to save money and have less chemical load in our house.)

I research every decision thoroughly since I am a researcher by nature.

My son has a baby doll (that he uses to run over with his trucks eye roll.)

My child has had McDonalds.

I drink plenty of caffeine while nursing.  Hmm my son doesn't sleep well.....

We have done Ferber.  I don't really want to do it again, but will if necessary.

My house is a cluttered mess.

I don't get to do as many crafts with Destructo as I would like.

But we have fun when we do have time for crafts.

I still haven't let Destructo stay the night away from me and don't know when I will.

I really hate plastic toys and prefer toys not made in China.

I want to be more "crunchy" than I currently am and plan to try more things as my New Year's resolution.

I am a working mom, but wish I stayed at home.

I wish my child liked TV a bit more so I could cook dinner without tripping over him.

I tell my child I love him numerous times each and every day.

And in the end, isn't loving your child more than life itself really the only important choice?  I might not be a great mom.  Heck I know I am not up for mother of the year anytime soon.  But every day I try.  And when I fail, I apologize to Kai and we move on.  I really hope 30 years from now when Destructo looks back on his childhood he won't dwell on whether I used cloth or disposable diaper or whether I breastfed or used formula and just remember the love and fun times we shared.  I know that is what I will remember.  

So my lovely readers, what are your mommy failings?  What do you find yourself most judged for?

Linked up at:
Tuesday Baby 


  1. this is do true! we all do things differently, but chances are we all love our kids just as much as the next one & we all kick ourselves for screwing up. thanks for your honesty! :)

    1. Thanks for reading! I try to be honest with this blog because if I was a reader that is what I would look for in a blog. Honesty and informative posts.

  2. Love! We all make our own rules as a mommy and they all wok for our family. I am a mixture of so many parenting styles. Thanks for your honesty.

  3. Awesome post! It's so true how we all do different things based on our different needs. And that's all just fine. It's funny how I went down that list and was like, check, check, check, um, no, no, check. We're all just trying to do the best we can. Let's love each other for that, yes, indeed. :) It always feels good to be supported, right??

  4. Amazing post. I say the same all that time. Yes the house is not perfect or sometimes I work to much, but we make the most of every minute we have. Taking every opportunity to show and tell each other how much we love one another, that is waht matters most. You know what is best for your child

    1. Thanks! I try to make our time together quality time so that even though I am not home as much as I would like with Destructo, we have tons of fun when I am home.

  5. I don't know how I'm gonna cope with teenagers. My older girl is 11 and is already sulking around and criticizing me all the time and it takes all my patience to not 'lose my rag'. But most of the time she is sweet and helpful. But I dread when both girls are teens....I wonder how i'm gonna cope without doing a lot of yoga and meditation!

    1. I dread the teen years. There will be so many new worries and parenting stresses that come along. I think my faith will have to get much deeper to have faith that Destructo is making the right choices when faced with situations that could be bad.

  6. So glad I'm it he only one who thinks/does these things! Ps. I still have my blanket lovie. And I sleep with it still. Most say I turned out ok ;)

  7. I did a post like this a while back... and now I can't find it! The tone was so similar. In the end it all boils down to the fact that we LOVE our children, and that's central to it all.

  8. wonderful post!! Shows how flexible-minded you are, and that's what makes you a great mom...or person for that matter!!

  9. I could've written almost this exact same post! We are all crappy parents in some way. The goal is to give them enough dysfunction to be funny, but not so much that they need therapy.

    1. I love that statement. Kai certainly is a funny little thing even at not quite 17 months, so I must be doing something very right.

  10. Yes, yes, and yes. I can totally relate. Especially to the waking up early. Jason worked at a bar every friday and saturday night, so weekend mornings were never for sleeping in for me - they were for waking up on Levi's schedule at playing at 6:30 in the morning :)

    1. Some days I just want to put myself in a sound proof room so I can sleep longer. I have started giving him books in his crib to buy myself a few extra minutes. Of course then I am not woken by crying, but by Destructo making fire truck noises loudly.

  11. Thanks for baring it all! Very few of us can fit in one "box" of parenting. We love our kids, and just follow our instincts!

    Thanks for linking up at The Tuesday Baby Link Up!

    1. I agree completely. I think it mostly matters that you love your kids.

  12. I love the raw honesty here. I love the authentic admission here that we ALL have trouble even living up to our own ideals!

    Thanks for sharing with the Tuesday Baby Link Up. I'm planning to feature this post next week!

    1. Yay! I love being featured different places. It makes me feel special. :)


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