Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Top Ten Reasons I Fail as a Mother

We all have our top mommy fails.  Here is a very humorous and not very accurate account of my top mommy/ parenting fails.

1)  I failed to teach Destructo about gravity soon enough.  If I had only sat him down for a lesson on the mechanics of gravity a little sooner, this ugly bruise wouldn't have happened.

2)  I feed my child on the floor.

3)  I have what I like to call a ball pit.  Destructo likes to call it jail.

4)  I might have let his Auntie Dayna try a bow on his head to see what he would look like as a girl.  He doesn't make such a great girl.

5)  I let my child get up close and personal with dinosaurs.  (Just for the record, he wasn't afraid of the dinos.  He was angry that I wasn't holding him and that it was lunch time and we weren't eating right this very second.)  Oh and I apologize that the pic is blurry.  It just makes me laugh when I see his face in this one.  He was so angry that I was taking pics and not holding him.


6)  I use suckers and cookies as bribes every once in awhile.

7)  I let my child "drive" at one year old.

8)  But I never let my child drink while driving.  So that redeems me as a mother correct?  (And a disclaimer, I am totally kidding.  Destructo is never allowed to drink until he is of legal age.)

9)  I might or might not mock Destructo's crying/whining face and take pictures of him.

10)  Best of all, I let him play on railroad tracks.  So do I win mother of the year anytime soon?

Well I hope this post brightens every ones day.  Tuesdays back to work are always rough after a long weekend. I never want to leave Destructo.  I guess no matter how much time I do spend with him, leaving to go to work always sucks.

50 comments:

  1. LOL! I love this post, and have done at least 3/4 of these. You totally brightened my morning!

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    1. Thanks! I was hoping it would make people laugh on the Tuesday/Monday after a long weekend.

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  2. Loved this - we play on the train tracks too!

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    1. Yay! I am not the only one. It was just so pretty a picture not to take.

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  3. great post babe! I bribe him with treats all the time and I once took a pillow of the floor while he was about to jump on it. I felt horrible, but he got over it..after lots of ice.

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    1. Poor baby. I always feels the worst when Kai gets hurt because of something I did or didn't do. I accidentally smacked him in the head with the fridge door the other day because I didn't realize he was in the way. Oops.

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  4. I have a number of "crying child" pics, including one from Christmas in which she is wearing an "I want a pony" shirt, which makes it that much funnier, as well as one where she is pointing at a bird that just bit her finger. We have also played on the train tracks, she has busted her lip more times in 4 years than I have in my entire life due to gravitational challenges, been bitten by the dog for aggressively hugging/riding him, and not only "drives" but is capable of turning the car on herself! Hope your week is blessed; sounds to me like you are a great mom!

    http://proverbs2pursuit.blogspot.com/

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    1. I am checking out your blog right now. I keep waiting for my dog to eat my son because he loves her so much it is literally painful. But so far so good. I give her more treats than she probably deserves because she doesn't eat my kid.

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  5. Hi! Following from the blog hop! I look forward to connecting with you!

    Christie
    http://satisfactionthroughchrist.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for following! I am checking out your blog right now.

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  6. Hilarious! Found you from Mom's Monday Mingle and I am so glad I did! I am signing up to follow you ASAP! ;)

    http://michellemossey.blogspot.com

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  7. Haha! What a great post and fun pictures! :) Thanks for stopping by and following my blog! I'm following you as well. :) Also, I wanted to let you know that the water beads that you commented on on my blog can be found on Amazon or at Walmart in the silk flower aisle. :)

    -Sarah
    http://thelittlehedgehog.blogspot.com/

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    1. I will have to get some the next time I go to Walmart. I bet he would love them.

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  8. Replies
    1. I use it when I am really desperate for containment for Destructo for 15 minutes. I don't feel so guilty because I tell myself he is having fun. I got the balls at one of the consignment sales around me for super cheap.

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  9. he really should be wearing a seatbelt while driving you know!! ;)

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    1. Hey I was going all out for that mommy fail. :)

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  10. Absolutely--as long as he doesn't drink while driving and keeps the activities separate, you're good to go ;)

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    1. Awesome! I am winning the mommy trophy.

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  11. Awesome!! Yep I've done those as well, playing on the tracks, feeding on the floor, food as bribes, driving at young ages, taking pictures while they are whining or crying. Fun times of parent hood.

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    1. Parent hood is the never ending roller coaster that you can't get off of and wouldn't want to if you could. Glad to know my mommy fails are so wide spread. :)

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  12. Haha! Oh, Melissa!! I laughed out loud at #5--I have one of those, too! I'm so glad I'm not the only mother who has "failed" :).

    So funny! Thanks for sharing!

    Christine
    threegentlemenandalady.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for reading! I think all us with mommy fails need to form a support group.

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  13. Over the years, I think I've done all of these at least a few times! Thanks for the smile!

    Angela
    http://www.amamascorneroftheworld.com

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    1. Thanks for reading! We wouldn't be mommies with the fails.

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  14. Followed the link posted on Facebook by The Cloth Diaper Whisperer, and I so glad I did.
    I'm guilty of most of these; especially 1 and 2.

    Kelli
    http://cealleadh.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks for coming over! My aunt commented on a picture of Destructo on facebook that even dogs get bowls. Whoops fail again!

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  15. This is post too funny! I think you just made us all feel better about mom fails!

    I'm co-hosting the Mommy-Brain Mixer this week and am so glad you added your post to the hop! Hope you'll stop by and visit me as well :)

    -Erin
    theviewfromfiveten.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. I actually follow your blog currently. I will have to stop by and check it out though since I haven't been in the last couple days.

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  16. I bought my son a pink carseat with daisies on it to use at my mom's because it was $20 cheaper than the blue carseat. We have to give our kids something to tell their therapists about later in life, right?

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    1. Hey 20 bucks cheaper makes all the pink in the world worth it. I would have done the same thing.

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  17. Very funny! #9 cracked me up! I've done that to my poor son and he gets so mad. And then I feel bad and try to apologize, but I start laughing at his getting mad and that just makes him madder. But, then I can't stop laughing. And it's a vicious cycle...until he gets so mad that he makes me mad. Then I feel REALLY bad. Hee hee.

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    1. Well it is a laugh or cry situation a lot of days living with a toddler and I choose to laugh with/at him. :)

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  18. great post. that bruise looks brutal but even if we WERE perfect we couldn't protect them from everything

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  19. Levi has a scar on his forehead because I neglected to tell him that jumping on the bean bag could result in tumbling into the end table 4 feet away. Ah, physics.

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    1. You mean mommy. :) I am hoping Destructo takes after his daddy when it comes to physics. Mr. Destructo was much better than me at it.

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  20. I love it! Made me laugh out loud! My kids are 27 and 16 now but oh I remember the toddler days...longingly now...lol When my son was 4 he shoved something so far up his nose I had to take him to the ER to get it out....I claimed he was someone elses child I just happened to find :)
    Thank you for the giggles!

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    1. I am literally laughing out loud at the thought of you bringing your child into the ER claiming he wasn't yours. Thanks for reading!

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  21. Really enjoying this hop. :) I laughed at my kids when they cried too, sometimes.




    http://asongbirdtakesflight.blogspot.ca/

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    1. I loved it too. It is fun to read all about all our mommy failings and now we aren't alone.

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  22. That is a lovely bruise on his head! when my daughter was 1, she fell off a tall counter and had a similar bruise... ouch! You're a great momma!

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    1. Thanks! We are all great mommas. I think every child has a similar picture from when they are wobbly toddlers.

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  23. Awwww! Love his little head! When my youngest was about a 18 months old, she knocked over a kitchen chair onto the tile floor. Scared the crap outta me.
    He seems like a fun little kid. You're doin' an awesome job "screwing him up".

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    1. He is a lot if fun. Gotta give him something to tell his therapist one day.

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  24. Love it. I too have failed at the gravity lesson. With both kids! You'd think I would have learned my lesson with the first one.

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    1. Geez us mommy failures really need to get on it with the gravity lessons. :) Heck I sometimes fail to respect gravity myself since I can be a bit of a klutz.

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  25. The ONLY reason we shop at Publix is because they will give my children free bribes... :)

    http://dontchewonthedinnertable.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hey you have to love the buy one gets on frees too. It makes for some very good deals at times.

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  26. omgosh - this post ROCKS. I love the fact that I also do most of these and question if it's the 'right' thing to do. I think we all wonder what is correct or not, but it's good to use whatever works as long as no one is getting hurt. it's fun learning how to be a parent and learning what kind of parent you want to be.
    such wonderful adventures to be had!

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