Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Ten Funny Destructoisms to Make you Laugh

1)  I was on the phone with a coworker last week talking over some work stuff.  I had my back to Kai but not biggie because he was sitting nicely eating a baby food pouch and watching Daniel Tiger.  All of a sudden I hear shrieking.  "Ohhhhh NOOOOOOO ohhhh NOOOOO baby mess baby mess!!!!"  I turn around to see baby food all over the back of my couch and Destructo smearing it around and even painting a bit of the wall.  My couch still smalls all appley/bananaey.  I don't think he meant to do it for what it's worth. I am pretty sure he stood up and squished it in the process and then painted with it.  Eye roll.

2)  We always read a book at night about trains since he has a train obsession.  We read it one night last week and he always points to a dark haired lady and says "Kaylahhhh"  whom is my friend that moved back to Italy.  That night he didn't and I said "Is that Michela?"  He looked at me with a duhhhhh expression and said "NO."  I was like "Well where is she?"  Another duh look.  "Kaylahhhh Ihaleee momma."  Well my bad.  Thanks for clearing that up son.

3) We bought Destructo a new Nerf soccer ball so I could put the hard (read they hurt when he hits you in the face while throwing them at you) balls outside.  Mr. Destructo got called in to work while Destructo was napping.  When he got up he was looking all around and I asked him what he was looking for.  He ignored me and kept looking.  All of a sudden he screamed "Dada steal Baby Ball."  I nearly died.  Our son is accusing his father of being a thief.  For the record, the ball was in plain view.

4)  Oh man, aw man, and bye man are staples in Kai's vocabulary.  I have no idea where he picks these things up.

5)  Mr. Destructo hugged me and this made Kai super jealous.  He came running across the room and wedged himself in between us.  He said "Baby Momma.  Lubvvvv Momma."  It was sweet.  Then Mr. Destructo told Kai that I was his and that he bought me.  (He didn't.  I swear.  Weirdo.)  Kai ran off and said "Awwww man."

6)  He has a new laugh he does when he is being naughty.  It is a very forceful Hah Hah.  He was opening the gas tank on our friends truck and Mr. Destructo told him to quit.  While staring straight at Mr. Destructo, Kai opened it one more time, yelled Hah Hah, and then ran away while screaming "Run Away.  Baby Run Away."

7)  I asked him his name yesterday.  He nearly always replies either Baby or Daniel Tiger.  Yesterday he replied "Baby Kai."  I told him his full name and he screamed at me NOOOOOOO.  I knew we named him the wrong thing.

8)  Yesterday I asked Destructo what he did all day.  He replied that he played with daddy and that daddy jumped with him.  Then daddy fed him treats for lunch and they were yummy.  What a sweet daddy son day. Except one problem, Mr. Destructo worked all day.  My son is a liar.  A creative one at that.
The frog boy

9)  He insisted on wearing his Puddle Jumper around the yard all weekend.  It has a frog on the front of it and he likes that.  He then proceeded to crawl around in the yard going hop hop hop and  occasionally throwing in a badly said ribbit.  Silly boy.  The picture below is a Puddle Jumper if you have no clue what I am talking about.  On a side note, I highly recommend them for swimming.  Much better than a traditional life jacket in teaching them how to swim properly but still Coast Guard approved.

 10) We were cleaning up the dog poop in the back yard and Kai was insisting on being a helper.  But apparently picking up dog poop was hilarious because he kept saying dog poooooppp and laughing hysterically.  If only I found it as fun as he does.

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