Monday, August 11, 2014

Dear Second Child

Dear Ollie,
Let me start this by saying that you complete our family.  I can not imagine life without your smiling, ticklish, lazy little baby self.  Mothering you feels so effortless, so natural.  I know what you want from the first little noise you make.  I love you so much and can't imagine being any happier to be your mommy.  In fact this is why I get nothing done anymore.  I keep getting lost in your baby blues and can't stop nomming your chubby cheeks. 

But with all that sweetness said, I have to apologize for a lot of things.  First and foremost I apologize for anything I might have thought and/or said during the first six weeks of your life.  But son you cried more than you did anything other than breathe.  All you did was cry.  You were just downright unpleasant.  Forgive me for my thoughts and words.  I didn't mean them.  But the crying and non sleeping was extreme up in here.  And then thank goodness Zantac arrived and we actually got to see a bit of your personality and it rocks.  You are the easiest baby and I thank God for you every single day.

I apologize for the fact that you might very well never be rocked to sleep in the rocking chair unless you stop sleeping at night.  I beg of you not to stop sleeping.  I mean I feed you on demand, let you sleep on your own schedule, and even now at four and a half months old do at least one if not two night feedings.  Is this not enough?  Please say it is enough.  Anyways I am sorry that I can't rock your for hours like I used to your brother.  It is hard to rock when a three year old is dancing and blocking the rocker.  

I apologize that I don't have time to sit and read book after book to your four month old self.  I guess you won't be a child prodigy.  My bad.  Forgive me.  I do read you Goodnight Moon each night.  I even managed to take the time to point out the red balloon once.  Ahh the mommy guilt.  I pointed out all those darn things to your brother.  But alas your  brother is typically revolting in the living room so you get the book read.  I only occasionally recite it without turning the pages.  And sometimes skip pages,.  Forgive me my precious baby.

I apologize for the fact that you are wearing Halloween and Christmas PJ's in August.  What can I say?  You are a second child and  you grew a heck of a lot faster than your brother.  Fodder for your therapist one day.  If you really need something to discuss with your therapist, you are technically using the same diapers as your brother as well.  And the newborn diapers.  Yeahhh.  Those were your brothers and then your cousins.  Again apologies.  
Neglected second child asleep in the high chair wearing Halloween PJ's in August

Nursing your brother was time spent bonding, gazing into his baby blues, and thinking about how fleeting these moments really are.  Nursing you is more an act of multi tasking.  I can walk around the house, stop your brothers utter acts of destruction, talk on the phone, and fix a PBJ all while not missing a beat, drop??  Whatever.  Again I apologize.  I do stare into your eyes at night when I nurse you.  Well sometimes.  Other times I lay on the couch and attempt to not fall asleep because then I might drop you in the floor.  I have never dropped you in the floor.  Still winning some mother trophy.  

All the times I discover you asleep in things that aren't your swing or crib, yeah my apologies.  I mean just because you fell asleep twice in the high chair in one day doesn't mean I don't care.  I am not sure if it means your brother is incredibly loud and I can't hear you or you are just an amazing sleeper.  Either way you rock son.  Keep up the good work.  You can sleep anywhere the floor, my bed, the high chair, exersaucer, outside swing.  You are one amazing little boy.  
This boy can sleep anywhere

But son the thing I apologize most profusely about is the fact that you will never be able to ride the tea cups at Disney.  No you will have a deep seated fear of them.  I will chip in on your therapist I suppose.  Why you ask?  Because your doting big brother finds great pleasure in spinning the exersaucer around in circles with you in it.  Many times a day.  Oh crap that means I am admitting to how much you are in the exersaucer.  Ugh.  :: hands over mother of the year sash::

Overall son assuming you aren't scarred too badly for life just remember, you are my baby, my final one.  Please don't grow up as fast as your brother is.  I swear sometimes you look so much like him that it trips me out to see you and then look over and see three and a half year old him.  I love you my Owllie.  

 your apologetic mommy

PS:  I am sorry about the fact that I call you my little Owl.  I am sorry about the fact that I dress you in everything I can owl.  I am NOT sorry about all the owl diapers.  They are freaking cute.  There has to be a line somewhere.  There is my line haha.
I had to bargain two cloth diapers to get this one

PPS:  You really are the most amazing baby ever.  Your laugh just makes my day and your smile gets all the way into your eyes.  Both you and your brother have such expressive eyes.  Yours are just happy all the time.  Your brothers are mischievous all the time.  I love both of your guys expressions.