Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Mommy Confessions

So Mr. Destructo is on second shift now.  It is making me crazy.  He would probably argue that this isn't a new thing.  Maybe not.  Maybe it is just slowly making me crazier than I was already.  Who knows.  All I do know is that I detest his new shift.  

He used to work 6:30ish to 3ish.  This wasn't bad at all.  The kids typically sleep until at least the 7 o clock hour if not the 8 o clock hour.  Before Ollie, I used to actually wake up before Destructo and have time to read my Bible and possibly even get breakfast made all before he woke up.  Yeah now I drag myself out of bed when his screaming put your feet on the floor momma, get up it is morning, the sun is up becomes to much to bear.  Thanks child of mine who at 6.5 months still doesn't sleep through the night (or more than a three hour stretch.)  

But typically an hour or two of his being gone was over before I ever had to deal with the kiddos.  Mornings were pretty nice we would go to the library, or science center, or play dates.  Come home in time for lunch and nap time.  Then typically by the time Destructo was waking up, Mr. Destructo would be nearly home or home within an hour.  Of course Destructo is fighting naps more often than not and I don't have the patience to sit in there with him to make him sleep.  So that doesn't help matters any.  But then Mr. Destructo would be home for dinner, baths, bedtime and the never ending fussing that occurs in the evening from both kids.

But now he typically leaves anywhere between 1 and 4 depending on the day.  Some days he will cook a dinner meal for lunch, others he doesn't and I am on my own.  Destructo is up from nap by 4:30 no matter what.  So I have the kids from the time he leaves until they go to bed at 8:30/9/11 whatever the night might bring.  My house stays a mess because I have to run my errands in the morning or else bring both kids grocery shopping.  And really who wants to do that?  Then by the time he is at work and I in theory have time to clean and do house stuff, I am exhausted and Owl is a fuss head (and so is Destructo if he didn't nap that day.)  So I end up sitting outside in the backyard while Destructo plays and Owl chills on the patio swing with me.  When I eventually go in I have to deal with dinner, baths, and the whole bedtime hell.  By the time they are in bed, it is usually nine and I am so wiped out the mess just sits.  And sits and accumulates more mess.  Until the weekend when I attempt to tame it.  This also means that play dates are getting fewer and fewer since most people want to meet up during the day and I try to stay home so the kiddos can see Mr. Destructo more.

I hate it also because I get to spend next to no time with him during the week.  When he is home, the kids are demanding his time and attention or I am running errands or working on school work with Destructo.  Plus we always loved to watch a movie and eat popcorn at night after the kids were in bed and that obviously can't happen when the kids are awake the whole time.  I miss my hubby.  Plus he tends to sleep in some since he doesn't usually get home and in bed until 12-2AM.  So he doesn't get up until 11 or so.  So even less time together.  I am lonely.

So here is where the confession part comes in.  He left early for work.  I wasn't paying close attention to time though.  Destructo refused to nap.  Which means I didn't get a nap in because he also wouldn't stay in his room for quiet time and Owl woke up just as I attempted to lay Destructo down.  I took the boys for a walk like I do most evenings to escape the monotony of stay at home mom ness.  We got home and I was thinking about getting bedtime started early.  Yeah it was only five o clock.  I nearly cried at this point.  My time frame was just all messed up from Mr. Destructo going in so early.

So what did I do?  Stared at the sky beseeching God to save me from the monotony that my life has become.  When this didn't produce immediate results, I decided to put the kids in the car and go somewhere.  Because if they are strapped into their car seats, I don't have to chase them around.  And by them I mean him.  Owl is still lazy and can't go anywhere thank goodness.  So without a plan I told them we were going somewhere.  Kai immediately needed an itinerary.  So quickly thinking I told him we were going to drive by the fire station to see if the garage doors were open.  He was thrilled.

We did just that (twice) and then went through the drive through to get a Happy Meal.  I purposely picked the longer line to avoid going home.  Then I tried to strike up a conversation with the cashier out of sheer loneliness.  Then we started driving home and I realized I had gotten lucky and Owl was taking a power nap which helped combat his fussiness.  We then drove by Publix and I decided to stop and get some crackers to go with my leftover soup that I was having for dinner.  I wanted chicken nuggets said while glaring in Owl's general direction.  I so miss fast food.  And cheese.  

So I go into Publix and get Destructo his sprinkle cookie.  And we proceed to walk up and down each and every aisle.  All the store employees were so nice.  And by so nice I mean they were real live adults who said hi to me.  I was there for at least half an hour.  I went to the self checkout and realized that it is about impossible to self checkout when Destructo isn't in the cart since he kept sitting on the bagging area.  I then checked out and left my keys in the store without realizing it.

I went out to the car, noticed I had shop lifted some sausage (under the car seat), went back in to pay for it, and the cashier handed me my car keys.  I thanked her profusely, thought about asking if she was busy tonight and if she needed a mommy friend who was a little crazy, and left without doing that.  I mean I am not quite there yet.  Then as we got home (cane sugar Pepsi in tow because it is one of the few good things I can still have in my life after cutting dairy, soy, and most corn) I realize how hobo like my kids look.  Destructo picked his outfit and had his shoes with holes in the toes on.  He rides his balance bike and drags his toes so I make him wear those instead of ruining all  his shoes.  Owl was wearing a green happy camper shirt with powder blue (dirty) pants.  I didn't think all this out very well when I threw the kids in the car.  Oh and Destructo's outfit was a long sleeve fleece superman PJ top with cape, grey thick sweatpants with grass stained knees and yeah it was close to 80 here today.  
He was too busy zooming up and down the aisles like superman to stop for a picture

Sorry baby boy you are a fashion faux pas

I am not sure if I consider this a massive mommy fail or win.  Destructo did eat every last bite of his dinner tonight.  Owl did get his power nap and was happy until I got him into his bed.  I did manage to avoid crying or worse drinking.  Or is drinking better?  I don't know.  Eh it doesn't matter.  The moral of this story is second shift sucks and I am one lonely momma in the evenings.