Wednesday, February 4, 2015

If I could keep you little

I wrote a post awhile back about sentimental books that I read to Destructo.  Since having a second child the book If I Could Keep You Little took on a whole new meaning.  If you haven't read it before it is about all the things you would do with your kiddo if you could keep them little but then the things you would be missing as they grow.

While I always liked it, now I see the ways in which Destructo has grown so quickly in just not quite four years.  Looking at his baby brother who looks so much like him and acts like him as well and then looking at the big boy he has become really makes this book turn me into a sappy sentimental emotional ball of mush.
They sure don't look anything alike
It also makes me realize how much more he is going to grow up in the years to come.  All to soon he will go away to school.  Leaving me for the first time every single day for hours.  You know unless I home school which is a possibility.  I am going to cry like a baby his first day of school.

And all the last firsts of Owl are bittersweet.  I love that he is growing and hitting milestones and becoming the boy he is meant to be.  But all his first are my lasts.  The last time I will ever see my baby crawl for the first time, say his first word, pull up.  And the lasts that it doesn't even occur to you to notice until they are done and gone.  Lowering his crib.  I will never again have a tiny baby in that crib.  Moving him out of the infant car seat.  I keep putting it off because I know we will never again have a baby in that car seat.  The last baby tub bath.  He is now a wild child who splashes up a storm in the regular tub.  There is a very good chance I will never again see a baby of mine drinking a bottle.  Owl doesn't care much for them any more. 

But the two milestones I am dreading the most are his first steps.  It is amazing how much you can't wait for those toddling steps with your first baby and dread it with your second.  They go from baby sweetness to independent toddler with those first steps.  But the thing I am dreading the most is the last time Owl nurses.  That will be cutting that last bond of pregnancy, childbirth, nursing a baby.  I dread it but that is another blog post all together.

Parenting is so bittersweet.  I wouldn't trade it for anything but  man I want to slow down time some days.  As the book I mentioned above says "If I could keep you little, I'd keep you close to me.  But then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be!"  Isn't that the truth?

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